Feeling depressed, thoughts of suicide ?

You need proper help. What you'll get on here is moral support, and loving concern, but depression is usually a physical thing - a chemical imbalance. So see a doctor, and he/she should be able to help. Follow up and complement the drugs with some counselling and therapy. Finally and most importantly NEVER EVER give in to these feelings. When you have started to heal, you will be glad you waited. I know, I've been there!